The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
