no, he came in my armpit
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
