Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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