the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
