worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
