Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
