i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
