okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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