I don't think brook has ever known best
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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