This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
