Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
