Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
