I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
