Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize