so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
