so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize