so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
