Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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