Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
