I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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