He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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