Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
