he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
