Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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