Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
