My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
