I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
