I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
