marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
