don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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