Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
