Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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