guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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