Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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