I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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