You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
