Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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