a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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