I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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