i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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