I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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