i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
