dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize