Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
