I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
