You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
