He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I want to fling myself into the sun
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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