my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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