Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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