Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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