i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
