this just has baby written all over it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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