You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
