he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
