i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
