I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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