i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
