She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
