she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
