Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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