That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize