2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
