The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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