sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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